Fighting Alone

For many of us, it feels like we are fighting this fight alone. It feels like we are carrying our family members on our shoulders because they are either not interested in devoting their lives to the service of God or they are temporarily in a spiritual slump, and that slump can be incessant, lasting in some cases for many years or even a lifetime. Or it can be intermittent, fluctuating with times of spiritual inspiration, but those times of spiritual inspiration for many souls are shortlived and temporary, and again we find ourselves the only one in the family who is chanting japa or going to the temple or reading Srila Prabhupada’s books or singing Hare Krishna in the house. Fear not. This too shall pass. And remember, you are never alone. Krsna is always with you. He’s in your heart. And He is aware of everything. He understands what you are going through and how heavy your burdens are. Take His help. Cry out to Him when you are chanting your japa. Ask Him to take over, because you have no strength on your own to carry yourself and your family members back home, back to Godhead. Pray for yourself. Pray for your family. Pray for others outside your family. Remember: “The mind becomes peaceful by thinking of the welfare of others.” And always, always, try to do your very best for the pleasure and service of the Lord. This will help your mind become peaceful. 

Self-Care

The chanting and hearing of Krishna's holy names Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare is the ultimate self-care. Self-care, after all, really ultimately means doing good to yourself. The highest good is to give Krishna consciousness to others, but also to yourself. So saving yourself first is how Srila Prabhupada coined the concept of giving oneself the ultimate good--Krishna consciousness. My Godbrother Patita-Pavana dasa heard from Srila Prabhupada personally that we must save ourselves first. 

Srila Prabhupada often wrote to complaining devotees that they should increase their chanting. This is always good advice. A million dollars solves all of our one hundred dollar problems. When we increase our hearing and chanting, all our petty problems become cast in a philosophical perspective so that we are able to see things as they are and avoid getting caught up in the emotions of "how could he/she do this to me?" or "why did that happen?" or "why do I feel so rotten inside?"

BUT...sometimes chanting is difficult. Sometimes we just don't feel like chanting. Some days are like, "Chanting is the last thing I feel like doing right now." So what to do? We try to chant, and due to offenses or whatever, we just lose interest and our enthusiasm wanes like a melting popsicle.

But we don't give up. We keep on keepin' on. We pick up our beads and continue trying to chant. Eventually, Krishna helps us get back on track. If we give up and give in to the laziness or apathy or impersonalism or vindictiveness that we are feeling, then we fall off the waterfall. But if we keep trying to swim upstream against all odds, all setbacks, all challenges, then Krishna eventually makes us victorious.

Give Yourself a Lift

Sometimes, if we've been in a spiritual sadhana slump for a while, it may seem too hard to suddenly transition back into enthusiastic, regulated chanting. We may not have enough of a taste. In times like these, it sometimes helps to give ourselves a little lift. Some examples from my personal life might help to illustrate what I mean. 

If I'm suffering from too much dis-ease due to negative thought patterns, I take myself to a doctor or health practitioner that takes a holistic approach to healing. That's a big step toward self-care. I recently made a decision to treat myself to a real homeopathic practitioner who is classically trained. A little pricey, but worth it. 

I also treated myself to some quality time with a dear friend. Talking with a trusted friend can do wonders for our attitude. Our whole outlook can brighten up a hundred times just with one heart-to-heart conversation.

Another good thing I like to do is write. Writing helps me vent when I need to vent, but in private. And if it's negative stuff, I write it on paper and then crumple it up and burn it.

Writing also provides a vehicle for my creative impulses, for my need to express myself creatively. Whether poetry or prose, my writings are my own, and they express my inner feelings. I save them. I read them later. It's therapeutic. You can try it too, if you like. It can be healing to read your old writings and see how you and your life have transformed.

If writing seems like it's a bit too hard to do, like it's not really your thing, that's okay. But you may be surprised how transformative writing can be if you just pick up a pen and start. Did you ever write a stream-of-consciousness paper? Here's how you do it. You grab a pen (writing with your favorite color of ink is a cool idea--purple is my fave) and some paper or a journal. Set a timer for five or ten minutes. Write whatever comes to your mind for those few minutes until the timer goes off. Don't go back and correct spelling or grammar, just write as fast as the thoughts come. Then, when the timer goes off, stop. Leave it alone for a few hours or a few days or a few months, and then go back and read it. Stream-of-consciousness writing is very healing to the soul and can be indulged in at any time.

Bucket List

One of my favorite exercises to get my thinking clear and my understanding in perspective is to ask myself two questions:

1. If I had only six months left to live, what would I want to accomplish before I leave my body?

and

2. If I had plenty of money to spend, what would I want to accomplish before I leave my body?

If you like, you can ask yourself these two questions. I usually make a list of at least six items as answers to each question, and then I compare the answers. If there is an answer on one list that matches an answer on the other list, then I know that this is something that is very important to me. It's okay to let the list grow, too. I like to keep adding to my lists as new desires come up. The lists grow as I think of more cool things I would like to accomplish during my life. I find this exercise healing and clarifying, inspiring and motivating. In fact, after I make my lists, I like to transform them into positive affirmations! Positive affirmations are the next step toward realizing the goals you have written.

Put It Out There

Have you ever heard someone say, "Put it out there in the universe and it will happen"? I have. And I've experienced this phenomenon.

I love to play piano. Playing the piano affords me a vehicle through which I can express my deepest emotions. But I am currently in a situation where I can't own one. Three years ago, we sold our house in North Carolina. In the process of moving, we sold our piano. I have missed my piano ever since. I am now visiting my daughter's family in Houston, but we're in an upstairs apartment, and a piano wouldn't fit. Recently, I "put it out there" that I want to play a piano. I looked up piano rentals. I called piano stores and inquired about rehearsal rooms. I asked around the neighborhood if anybody has a piano. I was expressing my desire, and leaving it up to Krishna to make whatever arrangements He would so choose, if He so desired. Last weekend, I flew up to Detroit for a friend's wedding. On my way, I had a connecting flight in Chicago. As I walked through the terminal to catch my connecting flight, I saw a piano in a restaurant. I asked the manager if I could play. He gave me permission and I sat down and played a couple of instrumentals. It was deeply satisfying and I walked away on Cloud 9. So even though I am currently unable to own a piano, I am being blessed with the opportunity to play pianos whenever I travel!

Five years have passed since I wrote the above paragraph. I put it out there, and a friend just gifted me a beautiful piano. I am so, so grateful. I had to wait for Krishna's perfect timing, but He made the most wonderful arrangement for me to receive a beautiful piano that I can now play for His pleasure. 

Commune with Nature

Get outside and commune with nature. Go swimming. Get near water. Get in the water. Find a secret place where you can lie down on the bare earth and feel her coolness. Look up at the sky. Watch the clouds drift slowly by. Listen to the trees sway in the wind. Listen to the birds. Breathe deeply. Take a walk and drink in the beauty of the earth, trees, grass, flowers and water. Go outside at night and feel the cool air and gaze at the moon. The moon is healing. Water is healing. Nature is healing. Indulge yourself.

Pray for Yourself

Again, we must save ourselves first. Chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. Always stay in the watchful mood of making sure you are serving Krishna at every moment. Read Srila Prabhupada's books. Pray for yourself. Ask Krishna to help you grow spiritually and stay tightly attached to His lotus feet. Ask Him to help you chant and hear His holy names. Ask Krishna to help you help yourself stay enthused and encouraged on your devotional path.

Krishna wants us to come back home more than we want to go back home. We can't do anything without Krishna's help, so ask Him to help you. He will.