Mahaprabhu Delivers Critics

“When He [Lord Caitanya] had been spreading the saìkértana movement as a family man, many Mäyävädé sannyäsés did not take His movement very seriously, but after the Lord accepted the sannyäsa order of life, He delivered speculative students, atheists and those who are attached to fruitive activities and unnecessary criticism. The Lord was so kind that He accepted all these people and delivered to them the most important factor in life: love of God.” (TLC Ch 17) Note how Srila Prabhupada mentions that Lord Caitanya delivered people who were “attached to unnecessary criticism.” In ISKCON today, we find too many devotees who are attached to unnecessarily criticizing other devotees, criticizing transcendental quotes that others post on Facebook, criticizing things that Srila Prabhupada wrote in his books, and even criticizing God Himself. Lord Caitanya, being the most merciful incarnation of God, can save those miserable souls from further degradation due to their making unlimited offenses toward the Vaisnavas and the Lord, but they need to desire to be saved. Only Krishna can award them the desire to be cured of the disease of being unnecessarily critical. Please pray with me for such people to be inspired within their hearts to want to stop being unnecessarily critical. If Krishna blesses them with the desire to stop unnecessarily finding fault, Lord Caitanya will take compassion on them and help them come out of their overly critical mentalities which are currently giving themselves as well as others pain. "My Dear Lord Krishna, if You so desire, please help these devotees desire to stop being unnecessarily faultfinding toward other devotees, of Srila Prabhupada's words, and of You, dear Lord."

Fighting Alone

For many of us, it feels like we are fighting this fight alone. It feels like we are carrying our family members on our shoulders because they are either not interested in devoting their lives to the service of God or they are temporarily in a spiritual slump, and that slump can be incessant, lasting in some cases for many years or even a lifetime. Or it can be intermittent, fluctuating with times of spiritual inspiration, but those times of spiritual inspiration for many souls are shortlived and temporary, and again we find ourselves the only one in the family who is chanting japa or going to the temple or reading Srila Prabhupada’s books or singing Hare Krishna in the house. Fear not. This too shall pass. And remember, you are never alone. Krsna is always with you. He’s in your heart. And He is aware of everything. He understands what you are going through and how heavy your burdens are. Take His help. Cry out to Him when you are chanting your japa. Ask Him to take over, because you have no strength on your own to carry yourself and your family members back home, back to Godhead. Pray for yourself. Pray for your family. Pray for others outside your family. Remember: “The mind becomes peaceful by thinking of the welfare of others.” And always, always, try to do your very best for the pleasure and service of the Lord. This will help your mind become peaceful. 

Self-Care

The chanting and hearing of Krishna's holy names Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare is the ultimate self-care. Self-care, after all, really ultimately means doing good to yourself. The highest good is to give Krishna consciousness to others, but also to yourself. So saving yourself first is how Srila Prabhupada coined the concept of giving oneself the ultimate good--Krishna consciousness. My Godbrother Patita-Pavana dasa heard from Srila Prabhupada personally that we must save ourselves first. 

Srila Prabhupada often wrote to complaining devotees that they should increase their chanting. This is always good advice. A million dollars solves all of our one hundred dollar problems. When we increase our hearing and chanting, all our petty problems become cast in a philosophical perspective so that we are able to see things as they are and avoid getting caught up in the emotions of "how could he/she do this to me?" or "why did that happen?" or "why do I feel so rotten inside?"

BUT...sometimes chanting is difficult. Sometimes we just don't feel like chanting. Some days are like, "Chanting is the last thing I feel like doing right now." So what to do? We try to chant, and due to offenses or whatever, we just lose interest and our enthusiasm wanes like a melting popsicle.

But we don't give up. We keep on keepin' on. We pick up our beads and continue trying to chant. Eventually, Krishna helps us get back on track. If we give up and give in to the laziness or apathy or impersonalism or vindictiveness that we are feeling, then we fall off the waterfall. But if we keep trying to swim upstream against all odds, all setbacks, all challenges, then Krishna eventually makes us victorious.

Give Yourself a Lift

Sometimes, if we've been in a spiritual sadhana slump for a while, it may seem too hard to suddenly transition back into enthusiastic, regulated chanting. We may not have enough of a taste. In times like these, it sometimes helps to give ourselves a little lift. Some examples from my personal life might help to illustrate what I mean. 

If I'm suffering from too much dis-ease due to negative thought patterns, I take myself to a doctor or health practitioner that takes a holistic approach to healing. That's a big step toward self-care. I recently made a decision to treat myself to a real homeopathic practitioner who is classically trained. A little pricey, but worth it. 

I also treated myself to some quality time with a dear friend. Talking with a trusted friend can do wonders for our attitude. Our whole outlook can brighten up a hundred times just with one heart-to-heart conversation.

Another good thing I like to do is write. Writing helps me vent when I need to vent, but in private. And if it's negative stuff, I write it on paper and then crumple it up and burn it.

Writing also provides a vehicle for my creative impulses, for my need to express myself creatively. Whether poetry or prose, my writings are my own, and they express my inner feelings. I save them. I read them later. It's therapeutic. You can try it too, if you like. It can be healing to read your old writings and see how you and your life have transformed.

If writing seems like it's a bit too hard to do, like it's not really your thing, that's okay. But you may be surprised how transformative writing can be if you just pick up a pen and start. Did you ever write a stream-of-consciousness paper? Here's how you do it. You grab a pen (writing with your favorite color of ink is a cool idea--purple is my fave) and some paper or a journal. Set a timer for five or ten minutes. Write whatever comes to your mind for those few minutes until the timer goes off. Don't go back and correct spelling or grammar, just write as fast as the thoughts come. Then, when the timer goes off, stop. Leave it alone for a few hours or a few days or a few months, and then go back and read it. Stream-of-consciousness writing is very healing to the soul and can be indulged in at any time.

Bucket List

One of my favorite exercises to get my thinking clear and my understanding in perspective is to ask myself two questions:

1. If I had only six months left to live, what would I want to accomplish before I leave my body?

and

2. If I had plenty of money to spend, what would I want to accomplish before I leave my body?

If you like, you can ask yourself these two questions. I usually make a list of at least six items as answers to each question, and then I compare the answers. If there is an answer on one list that matches an answer on the other list, then I know that this is something that is very important to me. It's okay to let the list grow, too. I like to keep adding to my lists as new desires come up. The lists grow as I think of more cool things I would like to accomplish during my life. I find this exercise healing and clarifying, inspiring and motivating. In fact, after I make my lists, I like to transform them into positive affirmations! Positive affirmations are the next step toward realizing the goals you have written.

Put It Out There

Have you ever heard someone say, "Put it out there in the universe and it will happen"? I have. And I've experienced this phenomenon.

I love to play piano. Playing the piano affords me a vehicle through which I can express my deepest emotions. But I am currently in a situation where I can't own one. Three years ago, we sold our house in North Carolina. In the process of moving, we sold our piano. I have missed my piano ever since. I am now visiting my daughter's family in Houston, but we're in an upstairs apartment, and a piano wouldn't fit. Recently, I "put it out there" that I want to play a piano. I looked up piano rentals. I called piano stores and inquired about rehearsal rooms. I asked around the neighborhood if anybody has a piano. I was expressing my desire, and leaving it up to Krishna to make whatever arrangements He would so choose, if He so desired. Last weekend, I flew up to Detroit for a friend's wedding. On my way, I had a connecting flight in Chicago. As I walked through the terminal to catch my connecting flight, I saw a piano in a restaurant. I asked the manager if I could play. He gave me permission and I sat down and played a couple of instrumentals. It was deeply satisfying and I walked away on Cloud 9. So even though I am currently unable to own a piano, I am being blessed with the opportunity to play pianos whenever I travel!

Five years have passed since I wrote the above paragraph. I put it out there, and a friend just gifted me a beautiful piano. I am so, so grateful. I had to wait for Krishna's perfect timing, but He made the most wonderful arrangement for me to receive a beautiful piano that I can now play for His pleasure. 

Commune with Nature

Get outside and commune with nature. Go swimming. Get near water. Get in the water. Find a secret place where you can lie down on the bare earth and feel her coolness. Look up at the sky. Watch the clouds drift slowly by. Listen to the trees sway in the wind. Listen to the birds. Breathe deeply. Take a walk and drink in the beauty of the earth, trees, grass, flowers and water. Go outside at night and feel the cool air and gaze at the moon. The moon is healing. Water is healing. Nature is healing. Indulge yourself.

Pray for Yourself

Again, we must save ourselves first. Chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. Always stay in the watchful mood of making sure you are serving Krishna at every moment. Read Srila Prabhupada's books. Pray for yourself. Ask Krishna to help you grow spiritually and stay tightly attached to His lotus feet. Ask Him to help you chant and hear His holy names. Ask Krishna to help you help yourself stay enthused and encouraged on your devotional path.

Krishna wants us to come back home more than we want to go back home. We can't do anything without Krishna's help, so ask Him to help you. He will.

Kirtan Seminar, Pune

My husband and I gave a seminar on kirtan at the Pune Temple last year. We felt that we were "preaching to the choir" so to speak, because the audience was made up of seasoned devotees, but based on the fact that Srila Prabhupada often spoke about basics to everyone--even the senior devotees--we proceeded to share our realizations for the purpose of our own purification.

We spoke about how kirtan is part of our sadhana and that Srila Prabhupada started this movement with kirtan. We reminded everyone that Srila Prabhupada set the example of using simple musical instruments like kartals, mrdanga, and gong, and that he also allowed harmonium and jha-jhas (popularly known as "whompers"). In the beginning, Srila Prabhupada tolerated all kinds of musical instruments, but gradually over the years, he began to insist on simplifying down to kartals and mrdanga.

Other musical instruments such as djembes, violins, saxophones, and flutes can be played for the pleasure of the Deities, but are not customarily used in kirtan, because they can be a distraction to the devotees' ability to focus on the sound of the Holy Names. Devotees may have brought all kinds of talents with them to the movement, but during kirtan, they should simply sing the Holy Names and not be tempted to show off their talents to the other devotees. Various musical instruments are fine as long as the person playing them is able to offer his heart and soul, voice and ears to the Lord and not lose touch with the Holy Names, but he or she should also be sensitive to the needs of the other devotees and not allow his or her instrument to become a distraction to others. In conclusion, this pretty much means that no musical instruments should be played during kirtan other than kartals, mrdanga, whompers and harmonium, and everyone should chant, even those who play instruments.

We touched on the point that the purpose of kirtan is not to impress everyone present with one's beautiful, melodious voice, although having a nice voice can be an advantage because when a devotee can carry a tune, it is less distracting to the other devotees than when a person sings off-key. The purpose of kirtan is rather to meditate on the Holy Names of Krishna--Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare--and to encourage other souls to meditate on the Holy Names. On this note, we told the story of how our Godbrother Sudama Maharaja once asked Srila Prabhupada if he should stop leading kirtan. When Srila Prabhupada asked why, Sudama said that after he led kirtan, devotees were always complimenting him on his beautiful voice and that he would feel uncomfortably proud after receiving such compliments. He was concerned that the anartha in his heart of desire for name and fame would increase by such compliments. So he thought that if he would stop leading kirtans, he would not have such a tendency to feel desire for name and fame due to his melodious voice. Srila Prabhupada's advice was that he should continue leading kirtan, and that the Holy Names of Krishna would gradually clean such false pride from his heart.

We shared that when we were new devotees, we were not allowed to learn to play musical instruments in front of the Deities, but rather, we were expected to learn how to play outside of the temple room, and then when we were adept at playing the instrument, we were allowed to play in front of the Deities. I was personally present when Srila Prabhupada stopped a kirtan to tell someone to put down the kartals because he did not know how to play properly. Prabhupada obviously placed importance on minimizing distractions during kirtan so that the participants could concentrate on the Holy Names instead of being distracted by poorly played instruments.

Another distraction that my husband and I find intolerable during kirtan is when people play mrdanga too loudly. Srila Prabhupada taught us that the instruments should never be so loud that the congregation of devotees cannot hear the lead singer. Speaking of mrdanga, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur also did not like people playing fancy mrdanga beats during kirtan without singing. He insisted that they join in the kirtan and sing along with the other devotees while playing mrdanga. It is an art to learn how to do this, but it must be followed.

Mrdanga players should also learn how to play slowly for slow, soft kirtans as well as at medium speed and fast speed, following carefully the lead of the kirtaniya. They should learn to follow the leader and keep in pace with his rhythm instead of speeding up the kirtan on their own volition. Mrdanga is meant to accompany the kirtan according to the rhythm that the leader sets, not to overpower the kirtan or disturb it by taking the lead and running off with it a million miles per hour. Mrdanga players need to learn how to be good followers before they can be good leaders. One humble suggestion would be that they should practice playing along with recordings of kirtans, both slow and fast, so that they can become adept at adjusting to the speed of the kirtaniya.

Srila Prabhupada usually sang simple melodies. In this way, he taught us that the Holy Name is more important than complicated melodies that are too difficult for devotees to follow. Kirtan is meant to be sung in a call-response fashion so that the leader and the followers benefit equally by hearing and chanting the Holy Names. Kirtan leaders should stick to simple melodies that are easy for devotees to respond to, rather than indulging in complicated melodies that show off their melodious voices for the pleasure of their own egos, holding notes for many seconds at a time or humming fancy tunes that no one else can follow. This kind of singing is fine for a performance on a stage, but for temple or street kirtan, it is simply a distraction.

Another new development that has come about since the disappearance of Srila Prabhupada is the unnecessary practice of calling out to the assembly of devotees during kirtan to "sing louder" or to "sing from the heart." This is an audacious addition to kirtan that has come about due to the furtive imaginations of a few kirtaniyas who seem to not understand that it is a distraction for the devotees to hear this kind of admonition called out during the kirtan. It is presumptuous and it must be stopped, as it was never the policy of Srila Prabhupada or any of our Gurus to prod the devotees during kirtan in this way.

Please don't be offended when I say that if you don't know how to carry a tune, don't lead kirtan. People who lead kirtan without being able to carry a tune can present a distraction to the other devotees. If you want to lead kirtan, learn how to carry a tune. If you want to learn how to carry a tune, learn to match your voice to the keys on a harmonium or piano, and after you have mastered the ability to carry a tune, then you can attempt to lead kirtan. Otherwise, you are doing the devotees a disservice by singing off-key.

In some places, devotees have a habit of grabbing a second microphone and leading the followers in the response part of the kirtan. This is greatly disturbing if the person behind the second mic cannot even carry a tune or cannot follow the leader's lead. Please don't pick up a second mic and attempt to lead the devotees in responding to the kirtaniya if you don't know how to sing or if you either don't know the tune or you can't follow it.

I shared a realization with the devotees that I had had several years ago. Krishna is present in both His deity form as well as in His Holy Name. He comes to this material world in such forms to give us opportunities to serve Him and thus become purified. Just as we dress and decorate the Deity in beautiful sringara--clothing and jewelry--for His pleasure, the musical instruments we play in kirtan are simply our humble offering to the Holy Name for His pleasure, and the pleasing sounds of those musical instruments are used to "decorate" the Holy Name. The sounds of the devotees' voices as well as the musical instruments are beautified by being used in the service of the Holy Names just as Deity clothing and jewelry become more beautiful when used to decorate the body of the Lord.

Kirtan, glorifying the Lord by singing His holy names, is meant for the purification and upliftment of ourselves and others. Kirtan is an essential part of our sadhana and must be taken very, very seriously. Too many changes have come about since Srila Prabhupada left, and we need to get back to focusing on the Holy Names for the purpose of cleaning our hearts.

Johar

During the seminar, while speaking about melodious voices, I had happened to mention that for the last 26 years, my voice has been hoarse and has gotten worse over the last decade or so. I explained that due to this affliction, I have not been able to lead kirtan for a long time, or at least not with the kind of voice I used to have when I was younger.

After the seminar, a very nice lady came up to me. She introduced herself as Aparna, and explained that she is an Indian classical singer and that she may be able to help me with my voice problem. She explained to me a procedure called "Johar" which I will share with you here.

Johar is the ayurvedic tuning of the throat. These vocal exercises should be done between 4:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. During Daylight Saving Time, one should adjust the time and do them between 5:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m.

Stand or sit with spine straight. Plug ears with thumbs, turning outstretched fingers upward toward the sky. Breathe in, pulling air into lungs through constricted vocal cords. You should hear your voice make a high squeaking sound as you pull the air in. Do this repeatedly, breathing deeply to catch your breath between inhalations, for at least 7 1/2 minutes. 

Next, sing kharaj (the lowest note you can comfortably sing) while pronouncing the syllable "Sa" (pronounced with a Sanskrit short "a" just like a schwa or a short "u"--like "uh" in English) for as long as your breath will allow. As you sing, you should try to see the note as a straight line. 

Next, sing at the same pitch the syllable "Ma" (again with the short "uh" sound, or like the u in "mutt") and see it as a straight line, emitting the sound for as long as your breath lasts.

Next, sing "Pa" (it sounds like the "pu" in "putt") and follow the same procedure. 

After "Pa," repeat "Ma" and then "Sa." Go back again through "Ma" and "Pa" then "Ma" then "Sa," always keeping your voice at the same low pitch and seeing each note as a straight line. So the syllables should be Sa, Ma, Pa, Ma, Sa, Ma, Pa, Ma, Sa, etc. Do this for at least 7 1/2 minutes.

Afterward, while sitting, sip a small amount of hot tea made from one cup water, 1/2 t whole cloves, 1/2 cinnamon stick, 2 T finely sliced fresh ginger root, and a 1/2" to1" chunk of misri (also called "sakar" or hardened sugar cane juice--available at Indian groceries). Boil this decoction for about 15 minutes until it reduces to about 2/3 cup of tea. Strain it into a cup and slowly sip half or more of it in the morning after you finish your vocal exercises. Reheat and sip the remainder before going to bed at night.

These exercises should be done for at least 15 minutes per day for at least 15 days in a row.

The Childlike Innocence of Bhakti

We simply depend on Krishna. He maintains us, sustains us. 

Too much dependence on palmistry, on what jewel stones to counterbalance Rahu... 

this kills the childlike innocence of bhakti.

~Srila Prabhupada

Some time ago, a friend inquired about how much we should involve ourselves in learning and practicing Krsna's subtle sciences such as palmistry and gemology. My friend was concerned about whether such arts are necessary or if we should just disregard them and simply chant Hare Krsna. Here is my answer, which I hope will satisfy Srila Prabhupada and Lord Sri Krsna:

We are part of the Brahma-Madhva-Gaudiya Sampradaya (disciplic succession) coming from Lord Sri Krsna (Krishna) Himself. Our mission, our purpose, is to become fully Krsna conscious through the chanting of Krsna's holy names: Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. Whatever is conducive to or supportive of that purpose, we accept. Whatever is detrimental to that mission, we reject.

By making the above statement, Srila Prabhupada is teaching us an important lesson. He wanted us to develop and maintain unalloyed attachment to Krsna's holy names and to His service. He didn't want us to waste time on frivolous pursuits that could distract us or take us away from our purpose of becoming fully Krsna conscious. He wanted us to utilize all our intelligence, energy and resources toward a full-on effort to becoming Krsna's pure devotees, no holds barred. He wanted us to take the elevator rather than the stairs. He wanted us to learn to simply depend on Krsna, to learn that only He maintains us and sustains us. He wanted us to always remain like innocent children for whom Krsna is Sarvashraya, the shelter of all, and Rakshobhuvana, the protector of all.

Why did Jesus say, "Unless you become as little children, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven?" Children are simple and they are completely dependent on the protection of their parents. When we become completely dependent on Krsna, the Supreme Father, we can again enter the Kingdom of God.

Srila Prabhupada recommends that when we chant Hare Krsna, we should chant "like a child crying for its mother?" The mood of a child crying helplessly for the shelter and protection of his parents is so attractive to his mother and father that the heart of even a macho tough guy who has become a father melts when he hears such a helpless cry from his little one. Anyone who is a parent can understand. The desperate call of a child in need pulls a parent's heartstrings more than anything else. The parent wants to immediately run to that child, pick him up, hug him, soothe his pain, and make everything all right. He doesn't want his child to suffer in any way.

Krsna is the same way. He is the Supreme Parent. He is God the Father, the father of everyone. And when we call out to Him in desperation and helplessness, with utter dependence on His protection, He is irresistibly drawn to such a plaintive, heartfelt call, and He wants to pick us up and take us back home to the place where we never have to suffer again, where we can always be happy.

While we are here in the material world, Lord Sri Krsna remains with us always in His benevolent form as Paramatma, the Lord in the heart. He has made each of us as individuals, with unique tastes and inclinations. He desires that we all return back home to live with Him in the spiritual sky, so He has devised different ways to attract each one of us to come back to Him. Residing in our hearts, He understands each individual soul and knows just how to attract each one of us to want to come back home to Him. So if one is attracted to the sciences that Lord Krsna has given to mankind, he can utitlize those sciences as a tool to aid himself and/or others in easing the burden of life in this material world. By remaining in the conscious awareness that all things, including Krsna's subtle sciences, come from Krsna and are to be used in His service, he can actually further his attraction and attachment to the Lord.

Lord Krsna has not only appeared in His all-attractive feature of Shyamasundara (the beautiful dark-complexioned youth) but He has also descended from the spiritual world as His holy names. He has created a system of living called Vedic culture that is specifically targeted toward helping souls in human bodies to become purified of their long-held material desires which obstruct their spiritual progress. Within that system--called daiva-varnasrama-dharma--there are physical and metaphysical sciences that are meant for the use of higher classes of human beings. Krsna understands how much we struggle in this world, so He gives us a helping hand, so to speak. He helps us along in this world by giving us such sciences as astrology, palmistry, medicine, the science of signs and omens, and gemology to assist us in our lives so that we don't have to struggle and suffer too much while we're here. 

Krsna is the most expert and strict teacher--He doesn't hesitate to discipline us when we need it--but He also has the softest heart. So He tries to make things easier for us in this world of suffering by providing tools that help us live more peacefully with less trouble. Krsna gives mankind sciences that serve to bring us closer to Him when we use them in the right consciousness. After all, we are His beloved children.

What is the proper consciousness in which to make use of Krsna's sciences? 

(1) Complete and utter dependence on Krsna. 

(2) Recognition that we cannot do anything without Krsna's permission and empowerment. 

(3) Absolute resignation to Krsna's choice of the outcome. 

(4) Understanding that Krsna is the origin, the maintainer and sustainer of all, that Krsna is the goal and the ultimate enjoyer of all our endeavors, and that Krsna is the best friend of every soul. 

This is the consciousness in which we can not only make the best use of Krsna's sciences, but it is also the consciousness in which we can most lovingly chant His holy names. This kind of attitude of complete dependence on the Lord's mercy can only truly be had by a soul who is cent-percent surrendered to the will of the Lord, desiring to please Him at every moment, and desiring to be His instrument in this world. Such a soul knows that the purpose of his life is to uncover his dormant love for Lord Sri Krsna and return back home to His lotus feet. In his heart of hearts, he really has no other desire than this, except to make sure that as many other souls as possible get a chance to reconnect with Krsna and resume their eternal, loving service to Him in the spiritual world.

So what if we're not yet to that point of full surrender? 

If we are not yet on the level of complete, unalloyed, cent-percent surrendered devotion to carrying out the will of the Lord at every moment, Krsna still covers for us. He has our back, so to speak. He sees through our weaknesses and faults and mundane desires, and mainly looks at our genuine desire to serve Him. As stated above, He is not afraid to punish us when we do wrong, but He is more inclined to look at our efforts to please Him. He would rather focus on those. He is in our hearts and He understands our sincerity and knows what we're up against. And because He wants us back home in the spiritual world more than we want to go back home, He makes all facilities to encourage us and keep us on the straight and narrow path of bhakti so that we can come home as quickly as possible. 

Krsna says that whether we have all material desires or no material desires, or even if we desire liberation, we should try to serve Him in full surrender, with all our heart and energy. He promises that we'll eventually become purified. (SB 2.3.10) And Srila Prabhupada assures us that if we still have material desires, it's better to go to Krsna with our desires than to the demigods, because after all, everything is bestowed ultimately by Lord Sri Krsna, not by His deputies. He writes, "If, however, anyone has any material desire to be fulfilled, he had better pray for it to the Supreme Lord (although that is not pure devotion), and he will thus achieve the desired result." (Bg 9.24 Ppt) (Notice how Srila Prabhupada includes the caveat "although that is not pure devotion." Here he is implicitly indicating that he wants us to come to the level of pure devotion, but if we're not on that level yet, he grants us permission to go to Krsna with our requests, and assures us that Krsna will protect us and bring us gradually to the level of pure bhakti.)

So it's okay to ask Krsna for help. In fact, we require His help for everything, even to worship Him! Srila Prabhupada says that we can't even become Krsna conscious without Krsna's help. So if we are not yet completely surrendered, Krsna understands and He offers us a helping hand as we stumble along on our path to spiritual perfection. One way in which He helps us is by appearing on our tongue and in our ears and hearts as His holy names. Another way he provides help for us is by instituting His very own culture--Vedic culture--the application of which includes various sciences, both subtle and physical, that assist us in navigating through this bewildering material realm. The Lord even demonstrates by His own example in various pastimes that one can derive encouragement from His science of astrology. In one particular pastime in the Ramayana, Lord Rama is told by His devotee Jatayu that Sita was abducted during the time of day called "vinda." He assures the Lord, "If a person loses something at that time, he will surely reclaim it very soon."  Later, when Rama and Laksmana are trudging southward through forests and jungles looking for Sita, Lord Rama says to Laksmana, "My left arm is throbbing and My mind feels perturbed. O Laksmana, We should prepare for imminent danger." A moment later, They hear the frightful cry of a vanjulaka bird. Laksmana remarks, "This indicates that victory will be Ours." These are some examples of how the Lord Himself shows us that in His incarnation of Ramacandra, He makes use of His own material sciences--in this case, the science of signs and omens.

The point is to remain always completely dependent on Krsna like an innocent child is completely dependent on his parents, and to remember that everything comes from Him, including all departments of knowledge, both spiritual and mundane. Then we'll always remain safe under His expert protection. We need to remember the maxim: "Everything comes from Krsna and is meant to be used in Krsna's service." If we maintain the proper attitude of using everything in Krsna's service and completely depending on Krsna at every moment of our lives--even if we take the help of His refined, sophisticated sciences such as the sciences of politics, debate, warfare, weaponry, architecture, construction, space travel, astronomy, mathematics, cooking, proper eating, habits of cleanliness or medicine, or of His more subtle sciences such as astrology, palmistry, gemology, psychology, physiognomy, numerology, or music--He will help us to quickly find our way back to His lotus feet. 

Srila Prabhupada taught that all tools for encouraging us on the path of bhakti (loving, devotional service to the Lord) come from the Lord. He explained that all sciences, both physical and metaphysical, come from the Lord, and Srila Prabhupada himself utilized such teachings to some degree in his life. He desired that we understand that all departments of knowledge come from the Lord and if they are used, they are meant to be used in Krsna consciousness for the pleasure of the Lord. He showed by example how a devotee recognizes that everything comes from the Lord and is meant to be offered back to Him in acknowledgment of His mercy. 

Srila Prabhupada also desired that we make the quickest spiritual progress possible and not get waylaid by the glitter of heavenly pleasures or the complacency which can arise when one enjoys too much comfort or sense gratification in this world. So fanaticism in either direction is not helpful. Moderation is the key.

Srila Prabhupada wanted us to find balance by completely depending on Krsna in every aspect of our lives. If we feel inspired to take the help of one or more of Krsna's sciences, we should remain aware at all times that all types of knowledge come from Krsna. We should limit our use of those sciences to the purpose of aiding ourselves or others on our (or their) path back home, back to Krsna's lotus feet. We should avoid the pitfall of thinking that Krsna's different sciences stand separate from Him. We should take care to protect ourselves from the temptation of becoming too much absorbed in and dependent on His sciences instead of on Him as the creator of those sciences. The key phrase in the opening quote is "too much dependent." This we must avoid. 

In order to preserve and encourage the childlike innocence of bhakti in our hearts, Srila Prabhupada wanted us to maintain an attitude of absolute helplessness and dependence on Krsna's holy names and on the mercy of Krsna in the form of His Deity, His incarnations and avataras, His representatives (merciful devotees who try to deliver us from the material world) and His teachings. He wanted that by the Lord's grace we stay firmly fixed on the razor's edge path of bhakti. He wanted us to live simple, pure, innocent lives, free of unnatural, unnecessary, or excessive indulgences, so that we could remain pure and utterly dependent on Krsna, just as little children are completely dependent on their parents. He understood that in that mood only would we be able to constantly chant Krsna's holy names, understand Krsna's teachings, uncover our love for Krsna and return back home, back to Godhead.

In conclusion, I remember that Srila Prabhupada, who is the acarya for the entire universe, wore ruby beads around his neck and he always kept ayurvedic and homeopathic medicines on his shelves. He also recommended that we take help of astrology in finding suitable spouses for our children. Yet, he admonished us that we should not depend so totally on such sciences as gemology, medicine and astrology that we veer off the razor's edge path of Krsna consciousness. In case one feels drawn to take advantage of the various arts and sciences that Lord Krsna has bestowed upon the human race to make his life a little easier in this world of constant struggle, it behooves one to remain always vigilant and prayerful that indulgence in the use of such sciences does not jeopardize his own childlike innocence of bhakti. 

Suicide Prevention

Last night I read an article about a young second-generation Hare Krishna devotee who had committed suicide some years ago. I hadn't known him personally, but I could sympathize with his feelings of desperation, or loneliness, or anxiety, or whatever drove him to take his life.

I thought, "Someone who is suicidal, someone who is suffering from anxiety or depression, doesn't always feel like talking." So this is my attempt to reach out to you if you are suffering from anxiety or depression or feeling suicidal.

Increase Your Chanting

One thing I remember from long ago when my Guru, my Spiritual Master Srila Prabhupada was here on earth, is that when his disciples would write letters to him revealing their troubled hearts, Srila Prabhupada would write back advising them to increase their chanting of the Hare Krsna (Krishna) maha-mantra, Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. This is an easy but magical piece of advice to consider putting into practice. If we are not chanting Hare Krsna at all, then when we start chanting, we feel immediate relief from all kinds of negative emotions and thought processes. If we are already doing some chanting of the maha-mantra in our daily life, but we find that our mind is still troubled, when we increase our chanting, our spirits are uplifted, because we are showing Krsna (God) that we sincerely want to become happy. The reason we feel happiness when we chant God's name is this: when we chant His name, we are associating directly with the source of all happiness, Krsna and Rama, the reservoir of all pleasure.

Sanatana's Story

Another idea how to help yourself if you are feeling down is to read the passage in the Caitanya-caritamrta, Antya-lila, about how Lord Caitanya intervened after reading Sanatana Goswami's mind and understanding that he was contemplating suicide.

He explained to Sanatana that our body does not belong to us. It belongs to Krsna. We have no right to take the life of our body. It belongs to Krsna and it is for serving Krsna, so instead of destroying it, we should take good care of it and use it in Krsna's service.

“My dear Sanätana,” Lord Caitanya said, “if I could attain Krsna by committing suicide, I would certainly give up millions of bodies without a moment’s hesitation. You should know that one cannot attain Krsna simply by giving up the body. Krsna is attainable [only] by devotional service. There is no other means for attaining Him. Acts such as suicide are influenced by the mode of ignorance, and in ignorance and passion one cannot understand who Krsna is. Unless one discharges devotional service, one cannot awaken one’s dormant love for Krsna, and there is no means for attaining Him other than awakening that dormant love...Measures like suicide are causes for sin. A devotee never achieves shelter at Krsna’s lotus feet by such actions.

Because of feelings of separation from Krsna, an exalted devotee sometimes wants to give up his life. By such ecstatic love, however, one attains the audience of Krsna, and at that time he cannot give up his body. One who is deeply in love with Krsna cannot tolerate separation from the Lord. Therefore such a devotee always desires his own death..."

Caitanya Mahäprabhu told Sanätana Gosvämi, “Give up all your nonsensical desires, for they are unfavorable for getting shelter at the lotus feet of Krsna. Engage yourself in chanting and hearing. Then you will soon achieve the shelter of Krsna without a doubt..."

After hearing this, Sanätana Gosvämi was exceedingly astonished. He could understand, “My decision to commit suicide has not been greatly appreciated by Sri Caitanya Mahäprabhu.” Sanätana Gosvämi concluded, “Lord Sri Caitanya Mahäprabhu, who knows everything—past, present and future—has forbidden me to commit suicide.” He then fell down, touching the lotus feet of the Lord...

Lord Sri Caitanya Mahäprabhu said, “Your body is My property. You have already surrendered unto Me. Therefore you no longer have any claim to your body. Why should you want to destroy another’s property? Can’t you consider what is right and wrong?"

Lord Caitanya then delineated to Sanatana all the responsibilities He had planned to entrust to him in the future. “I have to do all this work through your body, but you want to give it up. How can I tolerate this?” Lord Caitanya then turned to Haridasa, and said, “My dear Haridäsa...this gentleman wants to destroy another’s property. One who is entrusted with another’s property does not distribute it or use it for his own purposes. Therefore, tell him not to do such an unlawful thing.” (CC Antya-lila, 55-88)

This Body Belongs to Krsna

We should always remember that our body does not belong to us. It belongs to Krsna. Everything belongs to Krsna, and Krsna has plans for how He will use our body now and in the future to serve Him in this world. That may include saving other innocent souls who are looking for a way out of this miserable place. He may even plan to use us to help console other souls who are suffering mentally, emotionally or physically, by befriending them and helping them find alternatives to suicide. We don't yet know how He plans to use us, but it is our responsibility to keep our bodies in good condition so that when the time comes for us to serve Krsna according to His desire--which could mean that we help someone else find new hope in their life--we will be ready.

Peaceful Mind

Srila Prabhupada told us that the mind becomes peaceful by thinking of the welfare of others. He also taught us that if we are unhappy, depressed or hopeless, we can pray to Lord Nityananda, "My Dear Lord Nityananda, I'm so unhappy. Please make me happy!" It's such a simple prayer, but if we pray with feeling, Lord Nityananda will hear us and He will help us.

The Book in the Water

Once there was a young man who was feeling deeply depressed and had gone to a cliff at the edge of the ocean to jump off and drown himself. As he sat on the rock overlooking the sea, he looked down at a cluster of rocks far below. He noticed something in the water, caught between two rocks. He was curious to find out what it was. He climbed down, and was surprised to find a book. Not only was it a book, but it was one of Srila Prabhupada's books about Krsna consciousness! The ink was somehow still intact, and the pages had not been ruined by the water. He read the book, and turned his life around. He gave up the idea of suicide and dedicated his life to becoming Krsna conscious. By surrendering to Krsna, he became happy and mentally healthy, and he discovered a positive way to help others find happiness.

Self-Care Kit

There is a website called The Mighty (https://themighty.com) where a person can go to find helpful articles and ideas if they are feeling lonely, depressed, suicidal or in some way mentally disturbed. A friend sent me the link to help me find consolation after my brother committed suicide. I was very angry and upset after my brother committed suicide, and reading through the articles gave me some solace, some comfort. In one article, it is recommended that one keep a self-care kit handy for when one is in crisis. Some of the ingredients suggested for a self-care kit are: (1) a stuffed animal (for a Hare Krsna devotee, this could mean a Krsna doll or a Rama doll or a Nrsimha doll or a Hanuman doll) (2) a journal and some pens, (3) headphones to block out noise or to listen to music (Hare Krsna kirtan is awesome) (4) essential oils, (5) a favorite book, (6) herbal teas (7) a favorite snack (8) snuggly socks, and (9) a blanket. There are more items listed in the article, but I will just add a suggestion of my own to this list: homeopathic remedies. Believe it or not, there are homeopathic remedies that can help calm our mind and lift our spirits. Some of the remedies I would suggest are Ignatia, Chamomilla, Lac Humanum and Lycopodium. They can be ordered online, purchased from a homeopathic outlet or a homeopathic doctor, or purchased in health food stores. You can consult a homeopathic doctor if you have questions about what potency to take or how often to take them. They come in teeny bottles so they are easy to travel with and keep handy. Make sure you keep them out of sunlight, and avoid touching the pills with your hands. Make sure your mouth is clean before you take homeopathic meds, and administer them to yourself by the cap of the bottle. A lot of companies sell their homeo remedies in little bottles that make it easy to dispense just the right number of pills. Dissolve the pills under your tongue, and don't eat or drink anything for at least fifteen minutes before and after taking the pills.

Talk to a Friend

When you're feeling down, talk to a friend. If there's no one to talk to, or you feel that you don't want to burden anyone else with your troubles, then you can talk to Krsna. He can handle it. He won't get weighed down by your depression. He will listen and He will help you by lifting your spirits and giving you a purpose in your life. He will turn everything around for you, but you have to want mental health enough to reach out to Him. He's there. He's just waiting for you to call out to Him. One really good way to call out to Krsna is by chanting His holy names: Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. This chant is called the maha-mantra. Maha means great, and mantra means a sound vibration that delivers the mind from suffering. You can either sing this mantra, or speak it, or whisper it, or just chant it silently in your mind. However you choose to do it, it is healing to the mind. It is a way to call out to the Lord, and He always hears us when we call Him. Krsna is the most compassionate and capable person to save us from doing something stupid like committing suicide.

Lord Rama's Promise

When Vibhishana came to surrender to Lord Rama, many objected to admitting a Rakshasa into their camp. But Rama said, "If one surrenders to Me just once, saying, 'My Lord, from this day I am Yours,' from that day I will always give him courage and protection." (Valmiki Ramayana, Yuddha-kanda, 18.21)

I Know How You Feel

And remember, when we go through hell, we can always relate to other people's hell. We can say, "I know how you feel" and really mean it. That in itself is reason to keep living because it can help someone else pull out of their depression.

Recall Positive Experiences

Remember and think about the positive spiritual experiences you've had. Dreams that made you feel connected to God, incidents in which you felt protected by Lord Nrsimhadeva, times when you've tasted the holy names of God in kirtan (singing God's names) or bhajan (singing hymns). Dwell on the sweet feelings you experienced during those times.

* You can learn more about starting therapy here, since pretty much everyone can benefit from talking to a professional.
* You can learn more about anxiety disorders here 
* And if you need to talk to someone immediately, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and the Crisis Text Line can be reached by texting HOME to 741741. Suicide helplines outside the US can be found here.

Just Like a Little Girl

The more you serve Krsna, the more He will give you intelligence. ~Srila Prabhupada

Sometimes I can really relate to how Srila Prabhupada said that women are like twelve-year-old children. As a soul in a female body, my ability to analyze things in the proper perspective (Srila Prabhupada's definition of intelligence) can sometimes be compromised because of my emotions, my relationships, and my attachments to the same. Sometimes, I have seen that my emotions override my ability to analyze situations objectively, thus jeopardizing my ability to make wise decisions that are good for everyone involved.

Of course that's not to say that I don't make good decisions. I often do. But when a number of options are there, my choice will often be based on what will preserve and maintain the integrity of relationships and how everybody feels about the issue at hand, whereas my husband looks at the bigger picture and chooses according to the probable outcome and what would ultimately be beneficial in the long run for everyone involved. That's why in our family life, we've always operated according to Krsna's plan for families. Our Guru Maharaja, A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada taught us that Krsna (a name for God, pronounced "Krishna") bestows upon the husband / father the post of leadership. The leader of the family is enjoined to protect, provide for and guide his wife and children. He has the duty to make the final decisions in the family, because he has a body, a brain and a psyche that is built for that. Krsna has arranged it that way. Men have emotions, but their decisions are generally not governed by their emotions. So, after hearing from our Spiritual Master, that's what we understood to be God's plan for families.

I love my children and still feel protective of them, even though they are all grown up well into adulthood. Women love and protect their babies. Men also love and protect their babies. But the father plants the seed, whereas the mother grows the baby inside her body and nurtures it for many years after it comes out. Therefore as mothers, our emotions are tied to the process of growing and nurturing our children. We depend on our husbands to plant the seeds that will give us children, and to protect and provide for our children as they grow into adulthood, but it is us wives and mothers who are built to handle the emotional side of family life. Successful families require that the wife / mother bear the emotional attachments to the husband and children in order to make family life work well.

Our female bodies are built to conceive and birth babies and grow them into adults, so naturally, we experience strong emotional ties to our children and to our husbands who give us those children. As wives and mothers, we are called upon to understand the emotional needs of our husbands as well as our children so that we can take care of them nicely and serve them properly. We need to be able to feel the feelings of our family members in order to carry out our motherly and wifely duties expertly. But sometimes, due to our tendency to put relationships and the emotions which are tied to those relationships first, we don’t always have the best judgment about what to do or say in certain situations, and thus we can easily make faulty decisions and mistakes and get ourselves or others into difficulties due to our naivete.

Back to my original thought of why I can relate to the description of myself as a twelve-year-old child. Because we women are in general governed more by emotional attachments than by objective intelligence, some of the fears we experienced in childhood can linger in our psyche even as we grow into womanhood. I still freeze up with fear when I hear married couples argue, because it brings back the sickening memories of the terror I felt as a child when my parents would fight. I remember also that I used to have nightmares as a child about being expected to do more than I was capable of doing. When I was a kid, especially in college, teachers would sometimes give me assignments that were very difficult to complete. Consequently, as a student, I would sometimes feel like giving up--"throwing in the towel"--if an assignment was too hard for me to do. To this day, if someone asks me to do something that for me is very difficult, I find that if I try and fail, I can easily find myself on the verge of a meltdown.

I was always afraid of grown-ups when I was little. As a soul in a grown-up woman's body, I have noticed that I still feel afraid of other grown-ups, even though I am also an adult! I am also very sensitive to noises. I am afraid of loud, sharp sounds such as the barking of dogs, the slamming of doors and the honking of horns, and sounds that I don't recognize as familiar in the nighttime.  

When I look in the mirror, I see that my body is almost seventy years old, and yet I often think and act rather like a child. Even though I consider myself a pretty capable person when it comes to getting things done, I often feel scared and insecure and cry just as I did when I was little, sometimes for reasons I can't explain.

Last night, as I lay down to take rest, a vision came to me. I saw myself as a twelve-year-old girl. The vision was precisely accurate. My face was just as it was at that age, my brown hair was loosely curled and hung just below my shoulders, my school uniform was a navy-and-green plaid jumper over a white blouse, just as it had been when I was at St. Philomena’s Elementary School in Denver, Colorado. In the vision, I was slightly smiling. I looked like a fairly happy little girl. I wondered why Krsna had given me that vision.

Just now, I had a realization. I understood why Krsna showed me a picture of my body when it was twelve years old. By giving me that vision of the physical form I (the soul) was encaged in at the age of twelve, Krsna showed me that twelve years old is the age level that my subtle body is still at, although my gross body is almost seventy years old. And it makes sense, because when I think about it, I see how I am still so governed by childhood emotions such as fear, impulsive anger, impatience and shyness that although I can perform my daily duties fairly steadily and well, if I make a mistake or fail at what I'm trying to do, or if the planets are lined up to create some negative influence on my mind, I can sometimes burst into tears and run to hide just like a little child. Silly as it may seem, I am afraid to call people on the phone. I am sometimes averse to crowds. I am afraid of being seen. Sometimes when I am out walking on the street, I try to hide from other people. I often lie awake at night fretting about how I've unintentionally hurt or offended those I love and care about. When someone questions me about something, if I am at a loss for words, I sometimes start to cry because of not being able to explain myself.

So I am a mixture of both adult and child, with many of the same fears I had as a child. I am much like the heroine in Bob Dylan’s old song, “Just Like a Woman.” He sings about a lady who does so many things just like a woman does, “but she breaks just like a little girl.”

For me, as well as for anyone in a material body, Srila Prabhupada taught that the ultimate solution to this duality of feeling the emotions of a child while trapped inside the body of an adult is to stop taking birth in material bodies again and again. To escape from this cycle of samsara, of repeated birth and death, requires a realized understanding that we are not these bodies that we are trapped in, but that we are instead the eternal, spiritual, conscious soul inside. This is called self-realization and is the goal of human life. Self-realization is achieved by chanting the holy names of God and by constantly rendering Him service with love.

Although one can chant any bona fide name of God and become self-realized, the most highly recommended chant, or mantra, for this current day and age is the chanting of the maha-mantra--Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. Maha means great and mantra means a sound vibration that cleanses the heart of desires and tendencies to perform actions that are not pleasing to God. This sound vibration of Hare Krsna lifts us out of our temporary material identity which is based on the false assumption that we are the body that we inhabit. The material body is a combination of both gross (earth, water, fire, air and ether) and subtle (mind, intelligence and false ego) elements. Chanting and hearing the maha-mantra gradually clears and uplifts our consciousness so that we can ultimately understand that we are not this body, but that we are the soul inside, an eternal servant of Krsna, from the spiritual sky--a blissful place far beyond this temporary material realm which is fraught with miseries (such as negative emotions).

The process of rendering loving service to Krsna is practically accomplished by offering everything we do and say and think and perceive to Krsna as an expression of our desire to serve Him and love Him. Coupled with the chanting of His holy names, practical devotional service is a must for anyone who is a serious student seeking self-realization, and can be easily implemented if one desires to transcend the cycle of repeated birth and death.

During the process of purification that takes place through the chanting of Hare Krsna and offering everything to the Lord as my practical daily service to Him, I sometimes lapse back into material consciousness, identifying with my temporary material body and mind. What I like to do when this happens is to offer my temporary material emotions to Lord Krsna, asking Him to kindly accept them and purify my heart so that my dormant love for Him can be uncovered and revealed. I find this a very helpful exercise.

"My Dear Lord Krsna, if You so desire, kindly accept this temporary material emotion (name the emotion) that I am experiencing, as right now it's all I have to offer You. My love for You is covered by layers of emotions that are generated by my identifying with this material body and mind, so although I would like to offer You my love right now, my true, eternal feeling of love for You is currently hidden under temporary material upadhis (designations), desires and emotions. So until my heart is cleansed and my love for You is reawakened, please accept this temporary, material emotion that I am presently feeling in my heart."

Krsna says in Bhagavad-gita (9.26) that if we offer Him a leaf, a flower, fruit or water with love and devotion, He will happily accept our offering of love. I find that offering Krsna a leaf (especially a Tulasi leaf), a fragrant flower, some delicious, ripe fruit and some fresh water is a very sweet and purifying meditation. We can offer Him not only these items listed in the Bhagavad-gita, but also other gifts that please Him, such as vegetarian foods cooked with love and devotion. We can even offer Him our emotions.

Both positive and negative material emotions can bind us to the material world. If our subtle body is filled with such emotions at the time of death, it can carry us to another material body, rife with the problems of birth, disease, old age and death. Better to stop the vicious cycle of repeated birth and death by offering Krsna all of our material emotions, whether negative or positive, so that we can gradually transform these emotions into spiritual emotions for Krsna's pleasure. That's what the human form of life is meant for achieving.

I like this new discovery of offering Krsna my feelings. It's helping me to learn how to take refuge in Krsna and to understand that my emotions are ultimately for His pleasure. He is Sharanya-pala, "the refuge of those who are seeking shelter." Whether it's gratitude, compassion, shyness, apathy, laziness, anger, guilt, grief, sorrow, joy, contentment, depression, shame, remorse, regret, happiness, excitement, admiration, affection, satisfaction, pride, fear, hope, hopelessness, gregariousness, reclusion, loneliness, insecurity or any other emotion, this practice of offering to the Lord what's currently in my heart is helping me to grow closer to Krsna by encouraging me to relate to Him in a personal way as my Supreme Shelter--my very best, most confidential Friend--and to recognize and deal with my emotions in a mature and devotional way.